Worst Jokes Ever
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call dad. 🤣
I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...
Onions was a good dog.
Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
What do you call a black astronaut? A black astronaut, you racist.
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
What’s it called when an orphan takes a photo?
A family picture.
What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?
They both went down on my dad.
I think our destination is under there.
Under where?
Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."
Orphan: "How?"
Kid: "You wouldn't know."
Orphan: "........."