They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
Worst Jokes Ever
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.
Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.
My friend: How?
Justin: Justin!
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.
The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!
Like this if one of your family members is emo!
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?
A s'more.
One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.
My balls.
Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
