Worst Jokes Ever

If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!

What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?

When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.

Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression f**ks you harder.

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"

The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"

Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."

That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"

Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"

Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."

Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!

Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭

Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵

Doctor: You have cancer.

Patient: Will I survive?

Doctor: Probably not.

What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.

I was going to post a Kobe Briant joke, but the site crashed.

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?

Because he got hit by a bus.

(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.

Me: I will f**k ur mom.

Orphan: I don't have one.

Me: ......

*School shooting happens.*

Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*

American student: "First time?"

Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"

American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice guts, G!"

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.