Worst Jokes Ever

A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

Your mama was so fat that she sunk the Titanic!

An emo tried to give me a high five...

I left him hanging.

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

Imagine being autistic idiots.

An orphan? We no jokes.

Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.

What makes Squidward and a Quandale Dingle the same?

They both got them big parts.

Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.

What is Mario's favorite website?

- Yahoo!

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

OMG TYSM FOR HELPING ME REACH 30 FOLLOWERS!

🎆

Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?

A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.

Me: Kills the boss and takes his loot.

Everyone else in the office: 😱

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.

Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.

My friend: How?

Justin: Justin!

So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”