Worst Jokes Ever

Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?

Because they're the ones making the toys.

What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.

I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."

I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

Roses are red, potato chips are savory...

The United States prison system is legalized slavery.

My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!

Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...

Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...

Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.

My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.

The priest is in jail now.

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?

Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.