Who is the best at musical chairs?
The kid in the wheelchair.
Worst Jokes Ever
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.
I'm a rapist.
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
Why did Rhydon get an orphan...
Rhydon deez nuts!
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
Family photo.
Why do people make fun of you jokes in worst jokes ever? Because it is called "worst jokes ever."
