Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.

Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.

Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."

Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

  • 2

    • What is red and cries and spins around and around?

    - A baby in a microwave.

    What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

    Neither do ever grow old.

    What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...

    What are three things you can't give a black guy?

    A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.

  • 3

    • Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!