Worst Jokes Ever
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!