To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Worst Jokes Ever
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked!
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
White vans.
Two sentence horror stories go.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite drug? Crack.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
LGBTQ = LeBron giving back to qommunities (communities).
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
