Worst Jokes Ever
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.