Worst Jokes Ever
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: βNo, Petie, you donβt have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.β
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Whatβs the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They canβt say no.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."