Worst Jokes Ever
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
Ur mum—oh wait, you don't have that.
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.
I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
What's one plus one?
Yo mama.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.