My girlfriend went to Tokyo and she died in the tsunami. Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean".
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants? Michael Jackson's lipstick.
whats the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and freddy krueger
they both hove red circles on there bodies
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush
TV:Water found on Mars..... Mars:1 Africa:0
why did i give an orphan the iphone X? because it is the first one without a home button.
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights I hung something else instead
your mum is so slow it took her 9 months to make a joke
so i was walking around the outside of the buliding and i saw a kid and asked “where’s your parents” I love working at the orphanage
i tried to fight a razor. it cut me so deep i tought i would die.. turns out he didnt kill me. i was never happy but that shit made me angry
Assalum Alayum Bitches
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
what do you call a stand up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?????????????
my son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that. "new around here?" said the bartender "nah, been here awile" said the robot Bartender "you can talk?" robot "yeah, pretty cool huh." bartender "why do you want a martini" robot "oh, i'm just in the mood for one, you know?" The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk. The robot seems to be just like a normal human, "wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender "the top minds in the world." said the robot. The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..." Bartender, "what?" "Why did you read this entire story, it does not have a punchline, I just wasted your time, Get bamboozled nerd!"
NEWS: A man kidnamed a 13 year old girl MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receeding hairline
do you know what the f in orphan is for... family
What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
