Worst Jokes Ever
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
What does an Arab prostitute say?
"Bomb my pussy!"
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"