Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Girlfriend

  • My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...

    She couldn't do either!

  • 2
  • Woman

  • If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

    So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

  • 0
  • Poison

  • I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.

    Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.

  • 0
  • Nudist

  • What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?

    Memorial Day.

    Why?

    Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.

  • 3
  • Fan

  • I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.

    She literally died a crazy bitch.

  • 0
  • Diabetes

  • I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

    My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

  • 0
  • CEO

  • Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.

    I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.

    That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!

  • 0
  • Diabetes

  • I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"

  • 0