Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
What’s better than the best thing ever?
Me being mod.
"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.
Speak in AAVE, Mr. Bear...
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
Wanna make out, Explain Bear?
Are you a blood bender? 'Cause you're making my blood go south🖤.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?
"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.