Worst Jokes Ever
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
Suck on my big fat ding dong, you idiot!
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.