Worst Jokes Ever
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
What's the funniest joke ever?
Rapboat thinking he can rap.
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
Got fired from the bank yesterday.
They caught me drinking on the job.
Israel is so fat, when he goes to KFC and they ask what size bucket he wants, he says, "The one on the roof!"😂
I know why Asian's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.