Worst Jokes Ever
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
What's black and white and black and white and black and white and red and black and white and white and black and red and red and black and red and white and black and red and red and red and red?
A penguin in a blender.
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.
A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.
"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"
The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!