3 jokes

Guy

    • How it be when the new guy takes too long...

    Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

    Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

    Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

    Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

    Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

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    Titanic

    • Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.

    Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?

    3 minutes later:

    Why didn't I listen to the strong one?

  • 1

    • Magician

    • Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

    Apple Tree

    • 3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

    Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

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    Cow

    • My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

    Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

    That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

    3 memes
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    Japan

    • Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”

    Friend 1: “Yeah.”

    Friend 2: “Yea.”

    Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”

    Friend 3: “I love anime.”

    Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*

  • 3
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    Plane

    • Who crashed the plane?

    1. Abu Faram? - terrorist

    2. The little kid Joseph?

    3. The passed out pilot?

    Or Jamal?

  • 1

    • Plane

    • How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

    Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

    Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

    Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

  • 2
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    Cheese

    • 1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.

    2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!

    3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.

    4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.

    5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.

  • 1

    • Grandma

    • 3 boys were having a debate about who had the healthiest grandma.

    Boy 1: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!"

    Boy 2: "No, I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!"

    Boy 3: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital..."

    Boy 1 and 2, looking confused.

    Boy 1: "If she's so healthy, why is she in the hospital?"

    Boy 3: "Because she's giving birth right now!"

  • 1
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    Size

    • Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.

    A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.

    First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.

    It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."

    He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.

    She walks away and says ok.

    The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"

  • 0

    • Parent

    • Dear Grad Parents,

    Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.

    There will be more information to follow in the coming days.

    Thank you.

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