3 jokes

What camel has 3 humps?

...A pregnant one.

1, 2 you built like a dork.

3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.

Why was 6 afraid of 9?

Because 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!

Water, tastes that one tap in school:

A tier water at 3 am.

S tier.

12 pm water f tier.

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

1+1=3, just add 9 months.

What is the worst Just Dance game? Just Dance 3.

How to be a hero.

1. Tie a noose in your front yard.

2. Find and capture a furry.

3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.

It’s easy as 1-2-3!

To anyone who wants to be my friend:

Hello.

Does anyone wanna be my friend? Please if ya' do reply to my: "Hello." In the chat. Tysm. Have a greaat day!

Alex <3

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

Lean beef!

So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.

The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"

Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3

Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.

Mom: jk

George Floyd: 3 years sober, drug and alcohol free.

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."

He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."

Why did God create women with pussies?

Because:

1. Of course, God is a man.

2. Of course, he isn't gay.

3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!

A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.

They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.

The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.

The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.

The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.

When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.

The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."

The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"

The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"

The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"

So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?

Attention to everyone - I will be leaving for 3 weeks for a summer break. I will be back in 3 weeks. When I come back, I want someone to tell me everything that has happened over these weeks. (Gwen or Addison Banks).

Sincerely, watersharky.

Here's some of my weird jokes:

What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.

Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.

Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.