Worst Jokes Ever
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad Bot: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Teenager: I'm Hitler did nothing wrong.
Dad Bot: Hi Hitler did nothing wrong, I'm dad.
Nazi: Finally!
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"