Worst Jokes Ever
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
All Asians look the same.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.
My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
Q: What do you call white people on a black bus?
A: Oreo
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he’s dead.
You idiot.