What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
Worst Jokes Ever
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Walking.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Someone on here said it previously:
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is until my mom took the urn away from me.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
Why do you think China should have a baseball team?
They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.
How do you blind an Asian?
Put a windshield in front of them.
Why is the Rubik’s cube record holder always American?
Because Americans are really good at separating colors.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
What is the difference between iPhones and orphans?
iPhones have a home button.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
