Worst Jokes Ever
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.
I’m in catholic school.
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
COVID is like fashion...
We started hearing about it in Italy...
Became popular in LA and NYC...
Florida ignored it...
And it was all made in China in the end.
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...
"It was just a prank bro."
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
I am Asian.
I am so Asian my pronouns are: heeEEE/Ya.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?
Because they don't have father's and mother's days.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
A girl goes to a Church to confess.
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.
Now it’s $3.99.
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.