Worst Jokes Ever
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
I hate when I lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. Where do I lose my friends from Afghanistan?
In an explosion.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me when he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End