Worst Jokes Ever
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
Because they worship cows.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."
They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."
- One of the thousands of missing children.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking, so he asked him, "Sir, are you drunk?" The man responds, "No, sir, I'm not drunk." So the officer asks, "How high are you?" And the man responds, "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'"
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.