My wife was going to have a abortion and I have cancer Ha Ha Ha

I thought it was funny

What do you do with a frozen vegetable? You wait for it to thaw

I F...ED A POKEMON THE OTHER DAY. IT IS DEAD NOW

How do u finger a feminist, shake her hand and call her Theresa

Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship and I don’t have time for you asap daughter daughter or your mother or your call or your choice of choice

What is flatter than an Asians ? Their nose

What’s 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when i feed it to her? A miscarriage.

what do you call a communist

braxton

You never told me you were part orangutan, have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?

What’s better then a meme a really good vines

you’er mom

Face-Timing My Girlfriend:

¨Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!¨ shows muscle

Why does the Sun go to school?

My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe, I said why do I need this she said that you every year.

what did the south tower say to the north tower it said: nothing

9/11 joke

baby > commits start breathing Mom> commits abort baby > commits ohshit.exe

So one time this really rich guy’s son’s birthday was coming up. So he asks his son what he wants. So the son says “can i have pink ping pong balls.” The father asks why and his son stays silent. The dad decides to get it for him. The dad doesn’t see the son ever do anything with them. A year later the dad asked him what he wants the son then says “can I have 10000 pink ping pong balls”. The dad then responds with “son why, I gave you some last year and this whole year you did not play with them.” The son, yet again stays silent. The Dad was reluctant to do it but did it anyways. Now a few years later the son is now 20 and his rich dad and him have not seen each other in a while. So the dad decides to celebrate his sons birthday. He asks his son once again what he wants and his son says “can I have 10000 pink ping pong balls.” His dad screams “ SON WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THESE BALLS!!! I NEVER SEE YOU WITH THEM AND YET YOU STILL WANT MORE. WHAT THE HELL!!!” The son yet again stays silent. The dad, though a little pissed, decides to buy As much of the pink ping pong balls that he sees and gives it to his son. The son is happy, but does not do anything. Now after a while the sones about 30, and he and the father are more distant than ever. The father gets a call from a hospital telling him that his son could die from a disease that only 2 people survived. So the father goes there and starts crying and grieving. Then he asks his son what he would like before he dies. The son then says “can you buy me all of the factory’s that produce pink ping pong balls.” His dad doesn’t question because he is to sad to and buys him the only factory that produces pink ping pong balls. Then the doctors put him in a wheelchair and follow the dad and they take him to one of pink ping pong ball factory’s and the dad says “okay son I fulfilled what you wanted. But what have you done and what do you plan to do with all of these pink ping pong balls .” The son ,ignoring the question says “ this is magnificent. My final wish is that I stay here overnight.” So the doctors and the father decide to and everyone goes home to sleep. The next day, everyone returned to the factory to find all the pink ping pong balls gone and the son. The father was sad but a little angry and decided to search his whole house to find pink ping pong balls but doesn’t find any and they search the whole factory for the son and the balls. And soon they end up searching the whole earth and never found him.

i have a trombone

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