Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
My life, your life, and your sister is a slut.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
Genders are like the twin towers. There used to be two of them, and now it’s a sensitive subject.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to his job at KFC!
Having an abortion will make you so tired... it literally sucks the life out of you.
What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The wiener.
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
When I die, can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."