Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏
I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?
H: It's similar to shoes.
A: White Vans.
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.
Woah, nice cock.
What is an orphan's family portrait called?
A self-portrait.