Worst Jokes Ever
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.
Hi, I'm new here and I'm 11. I'm just bored and want a girlfriend.
Does anyone have Snapchat or Twitter? I can show you what I look like ;)
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.
I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
Have you ever eaten African food?
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Q: Why did the islamic chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the airport.
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!