Worst Jokes Ever
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets. 😂👀
Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?