Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
What is the most useless part of a vagina?
The woman.
You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?