Worst Jokes Ever
How do you know when an orphan is lying?
When they say, "I swear on my mother's life."
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
Paul Walker is the best legend to go down in history. Change my mind.
Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
Not a joke but I hope the ones who are making jokes about Mexicans are Mexican themselves, lmao, cuz if you're not, uh... I think we both know what you are. 😟
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in seconds.
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
Okay, I'm going to be sharing a story that I never shared before... Look in the chat to see the whole story.
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Oh, fuckshit, bitch, damn cocksucker.
Pussy, asshole, cunt.
Mother fuckin' dirty whore, shat onto my lunch.
Pisscunt, damn bitch, suck my dick.
Jesus Harold Christ!
Shit bitch, cocksucker, Goddamn motherfucker, pussy, asshole cunt!
What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?
There was a man named Matt that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, "I am here to tell you my sins." He was all for it and said, "Go ahead."
Matt, "Father, last night I almost cheated on my wife."
Priest, "How so?"
Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything, just rubbed each other, that's all."
Priest, "RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! For your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box!"
Matt, "Okay, I promise not to see her again."
Then Matt walks out the door.
Priest, "Hey! I saw you! You didn't put any money in the donation box!!"
Matt, "Yes I did. I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in."
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
I watch gay porn.