Worst Jokes Ever

Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.

(meaning sad)

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.

Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay people can play Star Wars.

Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?

The white guy actually did it.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.

I lost the case.

You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.

What do you call a group of black people?

A hoodie.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."

My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.

I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.

Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.

A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.

What category of music did JFK like?

You could say he was a metalhead.

Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.

Patient: It runs in the family.

Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.

Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?

You have to look down to see him.

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...

What do planets read?

Comet books.

What do planets use to download music?

Nep-tunes.