Worst Jokes Ever
A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.
The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.
Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"
The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."
Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.
A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."
Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?
Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
You built like you in the 1980's!
You're built like a Windows touchscreen!
Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?
A. To organize his thots.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".