Worst Jokes Ever

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.

He said he couldn't complain.

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"

Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."

I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

Why are there more female history teachers than male?

Because women like to bring up the past.

What’s the best part about stage four cancer?

There’s no stage five.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."

Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

I think my family is racist.

I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

Why do witches wear name tags?

So they know which witch is which!

Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?