Some girls are like rocks 👍🏻

You skip the flat ones

A cannibal went to the dietitian and he got told to eat more vegetables so he ate a disabled person

What’s Pee-Wee Herman’s favorite Michael Jackson song?

Beat It

My therapist once said, ‘time heals all wounds’ So I stabbed him. Now we wait…

Dark humour is like food, not everyone gets it

had (DYM 111)

Why dont witches wear underwear?

So they can get a better grip on their broom

The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of piza but they lost there balance and fucked it

9/11 victims are the best readers

They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds

My Friends- Maya-I only Get 9 hours of sleep.-Josh- 9 hours I get 7 hours of sleep- Noah-You get 7 I get 4 hours of sleep-Me- You Guys are getting sleep. . .

Kid: what is the biggest mistake you made in your life. Parents: go look above the bathroom sink *kid goes and looks but then he reilises

Brian has a crush on a cute girl Sally from school so he goes and tells his dad about her and he says sorry son you cant like her she is your sister. So Brian is okay with it and he starts to like another girl Madison and he goes up to his dad and says I have a crush on this girl Madison and again the dad goes oh sorry son you cant like any girl in school they are all your sisters so he goes crying to his mom and says dad said I cant like any girl because they are all my sisters and the mom goes oh it’s okay you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad.

i need a lovely lady to spoil i have a big dick and a very clean house add me now

snapchat: @colin_green21

Midgit

Your mother is so fast she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack

What is the difference between an Appel and an Orphan

The apple gets picked

Who lives in the pineapple under the see, Malasian Airlines Flight 303!