Worst Jokes Ever

I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.

I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.

Communists don't play Minecraft.

They play Ourcraft.

Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.

Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?

Because he's too high.

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."

I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.

Rip Juice WRLD.

What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?

He-he-eat!

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.

My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"

What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?

One of them is really loud when you iron it.

Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.

My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.

I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.

If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener.

Yo momma so slutty, she could use a tank truck as a dildo.