Worst Jokes Ever

Hailey

Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and hell must be crowded.

Hailey

Patient: Sorry I’m so nervous, this is my first surgery.

Doctor: Oh don’t worry, mine too!!

Anonymous
in Sea

I’m on sea- food diet, I see food and eat it.

Jumpy

Person: Sorry to bother you, but what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital?

Stranger: Oh, just go Stand in the middle of the road.

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one

I H8 EM0 K1Ds
in Emo

What’s an emo kids favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!

Yeah I stopped joking about 9/11. My jokes usually just ended up crashing and burning.

Lo Pombo

How do you start a rave in Etiopia? You put food ceiling and they start jumping.

Anonymous

What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy’s favorite thing? Miscarriage.

That one never gets old, just like the baby.

Anonymous
in Roast

SUS

Anonymous
in Roast

Where are you? I need to throw you out because mum said to take out the trash

Anonymous the RAPIST

Rape jokes like Cancer jokes or Aids jokes are just Humorous Wordplay. If you don’t AGREE send me Your Details and we’ll see if you Prefer Actual Rape to a Harmless RAPE JOKE… YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMOURLESS SHIT MUNCHERS

Jumpy

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up. Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb.waves her finger around the left side of the room Little Johnny: stands up Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

Imposter

Guy asked me what I do for a living. Now I’m not old enough to get a job so I said nothing. He asked me again so I said, “Your wife” The guy goes to slap me but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, “You swore not to tell!”

Anonymous
in Forehead

yur forehead is so big it makes mega minds head look small

Anonymous

When I was younger i went to an indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the Cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to “hold it properly”. So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.

Anonymous
in Emo

why does the emo kid skip class

Anonymous
in JFK

We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world