Worst Jokes Ever

lol
in Deez Nuts

me: how do cowboys say hello? Friend: howdy me: how do deez nuts fit in your mouth

lol
in Deez Nuts

me: what are we doing in HPE friend: fitness me: fitting deez nuts in your mouth

lol
in Deez Nuts

me: what’s the fifth month of the year Friend: May me: may deez nuts fit in your mouth

What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing. They fast!

noob skin
in Little Johnny

i kicked the shit out of little johnny

Anonymous
in Orphan

How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they don’t even got a home

Anonymous

Why did Hitler go for handicap?because they can’t stand up for themselves

Anonymous
in Dark Humor

6.7 and 8 are both scared of 10. but 10 is also scared. why was 10 nscarted?

because it was stuck between 9 and 11

Comcast

Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?

His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno’s Corvette!

Anonymous
in Michael Jackson

There’s a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!

Jay Leno
in Johnny Depp

How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

Anonymous

Roses are red, violets are blue, yk what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.🫦

Anonymous
in America

What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?

Poutine with Russian dressing!

Drakeil Quebert Alonzo Finngaurd
in Sadness

I was reading a book one day, when I suddenly hear a sound. It was the grim reaper. I ignore it and continue reading my book. Suddenly I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies. I used to like fireworks. But I’m dead now. Fireworks like a charm, if you don’t mind something a little ghostly. What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.

Anonymous
in Fat

Ur friend so fat when he took the group pic he was the backround

Anonymous

What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?

Phill ming

TheVegetarianGuy
in Lettuce

What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?

Anonymous

This girl came to me and said “I got raped in my sleep” I replied “I done it as a joke” -April 1 2020

Anonymous

It’s okay you had socks on :)

Anonymous

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer