Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
Why is America so bad at playing chess?
They lost two towers.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
Why do Chinese people never play baseball?
Because they always eat the bat.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
Where do short people disappear on the first of December?
Santa's Workshop.
Why don't terrorists like Walmart?
They prefer a Target.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
What would a Down syndrome Ben 10 alien be called?
Chromostone.
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?
Mien.
What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
What is the definition of suspicion? A: A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?