Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
You built like you in the 1980's!
You're built like a Windows touchscreen!
Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?
A. To organize his thots.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
Kid 1: "It's a bird!"
Kid 2: "It's a plane!"
Me: "It's a terrorist!"
What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?
"We’ve got a runner!"
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.