You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."
And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
Like a work film, to take new in the center.
More good, Tar de Spring is the mill Murray Hurlowar Skelett Dwight Dowl - for its general help!
I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.
The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"
Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.
I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!
Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
"Your pussy is sweeter than Mom's," Brother admired his sister.
"I know," replied Sister. "Father told me too."
About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
