What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic

An old teacher asked her student, “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?” The student replied, “It is obviously past.”

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.

Knock knock Who’s there? Not Susie.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.

Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them…

But I was just wondering… should I keep the letters?

Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!

I saw an Isis video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, “soon, my brother.”

There are some sounds that everyone loves…

  • Shoes on gravel
  • Crackling of fire
  • The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you
  • Cats purring

Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

Cremation, The last chance for a smoking hot body.

Dark humor is a lot like food.

Not everyone gets it.

Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”

They laughed at my crayon drawing

I laughed at their chalk outline.

20 years of sex in the dark the wife find out he was using a dildo the wife get angry and says ¨explain the dildo prick¨ the husband says ¨explain the children bitch

I made a website for orphans, unfortunately it doesn’t have a homepage.

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