Next time at walmart I’m going to scan my wrist they are basically barcodes

I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning

Are you a race car? Cuz I’m tryna fuck

The duck walked up to the lemonade stand. And he said to the man Running the stand Hey Bomp bomp bomp Got any grapes?

Stephan Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills He just couldn’t figure out who

All these jokes are so offensive Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it

A teacher says to her class one day, “Whoever answers my next question, can go home.” A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, “Who just threw that?”

The boy says, “Me! I’m going home now.”

Once, a mother worked in an orphanage as a cooker. She had a son, and a daughter. Twins. When she was going to her work, she decided to take the twins with her. They we’re happy, they got ready and played with other children while their mother was cooking for other kids. Then, a poor family entered the orphanage. They said they wanted to adopt twins. As soon as they saw the children playing, they notice the womans kids. They said they wanted to adopt them. The manager said they weren’t orphans, but before he said it, a teacher accidentally gave them to the poor family under the names of Layla and Logan. The kids we’re Kyle and Kayla. They went away with their new children, but the kids cried, they said they weren’t orphans and that their mother was in the orphanage, cooking. The poor family didn’t believe, they thought it was the children’s reaction of getting adopted. The woman went outside of the kitchen, she didn’t see her children. She asked the teacher… And when she found out, she screamed and ran outside. She was running at the poor family, when they thought she was a psychopath and wanted to kill them. When Kyle and Kayla looked back, they saw their mother. They swinged their hands so the poor family could let them away. They ran to their mother and hugged her. The poor family got shocked and called the cops. But the mother, she showed the documents and her parent rights. This all explains the worst joke, Yo Momma Lost Ya.

Who needs April fools…

When your whole life is a joke?

How do u shut Hellen Keller up

U give her mittens

One time there was a happy lil girl then one day her teacher asked how many legs and arms do a pineapple have she said girl: You know those pokey things on it thats how many Teacher says: Thats dumb they have zero. then the next day the girl set a fire in her house and then she burned her legs and arms then she survived went to school then the teacher said i heard your house went on fire and btw you know you don´t have no arms or legs right the girl said OK then the question the teacher asked yesterday asked the girl again she said what do u call a girl with no legs or arms? the teacher said ANSWER MY QUESTION the girl said OK OK the girl said 13 the teacher said PINEAPPLES DO NOT EVEN HAVE LEGS Then the teacher had to calm down then the teacher said to the girl ask a question whatever u want then the girl said ok and im sorry teacher teacher said its ok i need a break the girl said what do u call a girl without legs or arms someone from the class her name was nia she said a worm she said NO!!! the teacher said CALM DOWN JUST TELL US WHAT the girl said OK then the girl said it…And yall who is reading my story guess what the answer is before i tell u and btw the girls name is sunny back to story…she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE then when the teacher was calm she told her to sit down then the teacher read a story The Three Little pigs then the girl went home she got a new house then lived happily ever after

I had the BEST day EVER. 1:I woke up 2:I met someone im sad of 3:I had fun and got them back again online. But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st… XD

When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf? When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice…

My sister says DAD and repeats and this is my dad WOULD U STOP me 😑

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms 'knock knock" whos there not sally

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

Q: What do you call an orphans family tree?

A: a Stump

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me. An Italian, black, Spanish. They said you should be a proud brother your sister knows her meats, I didn’t know what they were talking about. They said sister won a trophy you will see it when you get home. I went home my sister said look I won a trophy by knowing my meats. I said what do you mean well 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob each one of them, and I guest which flavor was it. I was right all the time that’s how I won my trophy. Has a big brother I couldn’t be any prouder.

What do Children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings! Not funny, here’s another Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat

When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf? When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice…