Worst Jokes Ever

If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?

How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?

Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.

Is it possible to stutter in sign language?

Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.

What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?

I've never been inside a submarine.

How do you blind an Irish woman?

You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.

What is the definition of confusion?

Three blind lesbians in a fish market.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?

He's all right.

Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?

He was a great veterinarian.

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.

What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.

How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.

I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.

Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.