Why does everyone at school make fun of the cripples kid. Because he can’t stand up for himself.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

Never invest in funerals. It’s a dying industry.

Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it’s clear why everyone calls me handsome.

Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water

Who else would think of adding gas

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

I invented a new word today.

Plagiarism

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and and everything was half off. I didn’t know back to school sales had started already

Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes

Two fish walked in to a wall one said to the other “dam”

What has more brains than Kurt Cobain ? The wall behind him.

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus.

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

Why do the French eat snails? – They don’t like fast food.

What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts

My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, “OK, you’re ugly too.”

What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?

Hearing AIDS

Im doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. Its called spastics on elastics

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

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