Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Indian

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?

The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

Adoption

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Yo mama!

Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.

Why did Marxism never catch on in England?

Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.

Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.

Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

Disney

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

Woman

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

Dark Humor

I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."

I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.

Difference

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.