If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she’s a little tardy?
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? – They’re always eating out.
… and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.
Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector
Why didn’t the bear go to college? – Because bears don’t go to college.
He: “Do you smoke after sex?”
She: “I don’t know. I’ve never looked.”
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? – “Honey, I’ll be home in 20 minutes.”
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
If Al Gore started a math rock band it should be called Algorhythm.
4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. – 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
What’s the difference between a gay and a freezer? – The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? – “Are you having a crisis?”
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
“How is your long distance relationship going?” – “So far, so good.”
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? – Itenticle.