Worst Jokes Ever

What does an orphan call a kidnapping?

A surprise adoption.

The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.

Why couldn't George Floyd become a Demon Slayer?

Because he couldn't breathe.

I was reading a book about an immortal cat the other day; it was impossible to put down.

What’s the difference between air and a six year old?

Air has resistance.

Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?

A: A rapist.

What did the mom say to the twins?

"Go crash a plane!"

Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?

Wait... nevermind.

An officer confronts two congressmen.

He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"

The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"

I'd make you fall harder than the South Tower.

New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."

Student: "But!"

Teacher: "Is something missing?"

Student: "Your parents!"

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?

At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.

Did you know Kurt had dandruff?

Found his head and shoulders behind the couch.

Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.

How do you punish blind kids?

Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

Why did the orphan go to church?

It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."

I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.

Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."

Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"

Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."

Orphan: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."