Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Alpha Kenny body?
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Yo mama's so stupid, she frickin' died at the Super Bowl!
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.
Why?
Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
