Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
What attracted Jeffrey Dahmer to abortion clinics?
- He smelled veal.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do when done with his black dates?
He dumped them.
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer only date black men?
Nutella!
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"
Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"
Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"
Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"
"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."
What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?
A joint in each hand.
Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
She thought it was diet coke.
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims? It blows itself up!!
Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!
Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.
It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.
Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?
Free service for tit holding!
What was racing through people's minds during 9/11?
Probably a plane. (:
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?