Why does everyone at school make fun of the cripples kid. Because he can’t stand up for himself.
What’s the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”
on a date me - "I get to work with animals all day" her - "How sweet! What do you do?" me - “I’m a butcher.”
A programmer and his wife.
She says, “We’re out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they’ve got eggs, get six.”
After a while, he’s back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, “Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?”
He replies, “They had eggs.”
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, “Isn’t it dark down here?” She replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.