I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

I’m not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and i’m not gonna die the same way.

“Don’t be dumb,make sure she’s numb”

• bill cosby

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f... the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them…

But I was just wondering… should I keep the letters?

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. – I gave him a glass of water.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade.

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.

suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry

What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

How did Helen keller’s mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.

Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

Would you like to try African food??

They would too.

Cremation, The last chance for a smoking hot body.

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

Once I saw a mirror… and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.

Knock knock Who’s there? Not Susie.

I made a website for orphans, unfortunately it doesn’t have a homepage.

Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words.

His response was “Ho ho ho”