Why can’t humans hear a dog whistle? – Because dogs can’t whistle.

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What do you call a cow with a twitch? – Beef jerky.

0

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? – Because the octopus was well armed.

0

Where do sick boats go? – The dock!

0

Dark humor is like food.

Not everyone gets it.

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What’s the difference between jam and jelly?

You can’t jelly your cock into a girl’s mouth.

0

Why should you not make fun of a crippled person?

Because he can’t stand the jokes.

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How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

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Muslims love to exaggerate, that’s why they always blow things up.

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Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

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What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? – Meals on wheels.

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I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. – Which makes me an eighth theist.

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Where can you find some of the world’s largest vegetables? – In an American nursing home.

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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? – A nervous wreck.

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What do you call a stupid turtle?- retorted

2

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”

0

The three unwritten rules of life:

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The Barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

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I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. “What happened to your face?” I asked.

“I’m a Paralympian,” he replied.

“Boxing?”

“No, … hurdles.”

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What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? – A stumblie-mumblie.

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