Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call Liberal Scare Tactics?
A Conservative's Utopia.
What is Lizzo?
Big, fat, and ugly.
What is the best revenge for getting punished at school?
Go shoot up the school.
Why are Americans such good marksmen?
Because they had plenty of schools to practice their shooting.
The next woman who says she'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear, I'm throwing her in a pit with a bear and making her fight it with a wooden sword while drinking and singing "The Bear and the Maiden Fair."
Roses are red, I have no money, I want to be dominated by a goth mommy.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Chuck Norris doesn’t go to heaven; Heaven comes to Chuck Norris. RIP.
My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.
Usain Boat.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
Phone: YEETED.
TikTok: DELETED.
Therapy: NEEDED.
Wife: BEATED.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
Depressed person: *chokes on food* *involuntary coughs untill they can breathe* "AWWW I failed the race!!"