Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!
What do you call a Flying Pilot?
He pee on the plane.
Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
Your teeth are so out of line, even James Charles is straighter than them.
Like if you like porn.
Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,
Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
Why should you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.
It says, "271032."
