I'd tell a Luigi joke but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Q. what do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head? A. An ambulance.
Incest. When your genealogy chart is a straight line.
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"
My son is broken: "I think at home!"
Happiness!
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
