Yours jokes
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sisters pussy taste funny
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
Your hairline goes as far back as the cavemen. Your forehead is also as deep as the cave.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.
"You're really hot, I wanna hit on you like the plane hit the Twin Towers."