Yours jokes
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.
When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."
Your hairline goes so far back even Dora the Explorer couldn’t find it.
Your eyebrows turned into little butterflies and flew away!
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
I told my dad that I’m gay. He replied, “No, you're retarded.” Then he went off to kiss a baby.
One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."
POV: Your mum is a bomber.
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.
Is it just me or is your personality fake as well? Can't tell because everything about you is.
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: You can't find your dog.
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"