Yours jokes

Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?

Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

I have a secret crush on your momma.

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!

What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?

You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

Your mother.

Depression: Here, your mom just died.

Me: My mom is already dead.

Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth? I don't know. Scan the code on your wrist."

Joe mama is Joe mama (your mother) LMAO!

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

You're so ugly, you make onions cry.

I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.

I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

How many balls do you have on your body?

2. Your butt.

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...