Yours jokes

What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?

Time to walk with your dog 🐶!

What's the difference between a priest and customer service?

At least you can call customer service and tell them how your experience was.

I like...

Wendy's.

"Wendeez nuts in your mouth."

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Stop and apply lubrication.

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!

Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?

You can't wash your face in a buffalo.

Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.

Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."

This boy said, "Get your hairline straight." I said, "Girls don't have a hairline. How about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worse than he did the first time."

Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?

A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

"You're fat as a cow."

"......."

"Nope."

I have the funniest joke ever, here it is...

Your face!

Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

You're cheap; no one even pays attention.

Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!