Yours jokes

Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"

According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"

Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.

Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

Friend: May.

Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Me: How do cowboys say hello?

Friend: Howdy.

Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Hey, Kenya, what is your favorite song?

"Lonely."

Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?

For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.

Your mama so fat she sunk the HMS ship!

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.

*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"

*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?

A: Because when you're there, you're family.

What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

Me: *watching TV*

Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

Me: Really?

Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.

Think about it.

To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.

Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?

What's the difference between your mom and a troll?

Nothing, they both look the same.

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!