Yours jokes

Hi. My name's Stephen Hawking. What's your disability?

Yo mama is so fat and old, when Jesus said "Let there be Light!" he told your mama to move out of the way!

I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...

Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.

Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.

I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.

Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?

For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.

Your reflection.

One woman said to the other, "This child is truly cruel!"

The second woman replied, "Did I say 'child'?"

The first woman said, "I beg your pardon; I didn't know you were my father!"

Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!

I ate all of your mommy's orphans.

Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.

Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!

Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?

Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!

Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.

Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.

Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait

Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.

Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.

The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."