Yours jokes
Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.
Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.
Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!
Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
So, if she gargles your cum, is that a jacuzzi daycare?
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
Your hairline is so far back it became a case.
Your mom so fat, Thanos had to clap!
Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.
If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."