You're jokes
Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: (cries)
If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.
Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.
Me: Sorry for your loss.
Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.
Me: Stop, I have a mother.
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.
Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
your (DYM 59)
Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".
I commented back to you and portory.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
Your (DYM 32).
Friend: Your life is a joke.
Me: No, jokes have meaning.
Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?
I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.
Your bus is so short... the wheels touch.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
Mom, I’m pregnant.
Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.
Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.
Your mom is a mom!