You're jokes

BREAKING NEWS

All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.

The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.

Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?

"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."

Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.

Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.

What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in your dirty laundry!

What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.

Wait, this is the category "dick." Sorry yours isn't long for yo mama to get fucked up.

Why do jeans always compliment your booty?

Because they’ve got your back!

What did the booty say when it was asked to help?

"I've got your backside covered!"

If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!

What's the difference between a cop and bacon?

Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.

Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.

Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.

Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.

"If you're good at something, never do it for free."

Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.

If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

Your hairline is so far back, a pilot thought it was an airplane.

Roses are red, My cat try to kill your next >:)

Your hair goes so far back in time, even cavemen saw it!

Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.