You're jokes

Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.

Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."

When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.

You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."

Kid: "OK THANK YOU."

(AT BED TIME)

Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"

Ben: "I'm not."

(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"

You're so poor you stink like poo-poo in your doo-doo.

Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*

Hey, I met you like way way back, just like your hairline.

I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.

Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"

Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?

Have a blood transfusion.

Bully: How’s your girlfriend?

Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?

Bully: *cries*

Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*

What's a native chick say after sex?

"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"