You're jokes
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
Your hairline goes all the way back to when Burger King was a Burger Prince.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
The IRS came to this man's house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money that's been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man thought, "Maybe I need to get a lawyer." So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down, and the agent said, "There has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account, and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it." The man says, "Yes, I do. I'm a gambler." The agent says, "You gamble with that much money?" The man says, "Yes, I'll give you an example. Alright, I bet you $5,000 that I can bite my left eye." Agent says, "Alright, deal." The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Then the agent says, "That's not fair." The man says, "I'll let you get your money back, or even more. I bet you $7,500 I can bite my right eye." The agent, thinking, "I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick," so the agent says, "Deal." The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. The agent then says, "That's not fair." The man replies, "Alright, I have another one. You're down $12,500. I'll bet you $15,000, if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room, I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere." The agent says, "That's impossible, you've got a deal." The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk, and the agent says, "I got you!" He's laughing and happy that he finally beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face, and the agent asked, "What's wrong with you?" and the lawyer replies, "The man bet me $100,000 he could piss on your desk, and you'd just love it."
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll f*ck your mom, and you'll be next.
Your mom is a joke.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
This will happen in your future, though, now because you're mean.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.