You're jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
POV: You liked this joke because you're straight.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Your forehead is built like the Indian flag.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."