You're jokes

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?

The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.

Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:

Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?

You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.

Your forehead is so big it blocked my phone service!

Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.

Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.

I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

Why do orphans not like jokes?

Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Your momma's so dumb, she took her driving lesson on a dinosaur.

B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!

John, I like your cut, G.

I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.

Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)

To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!

Friend: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Your life.

Me: Ahhh, I wish!

*jumps off building*