You're jokes

How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.

Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

You are so skinny, you probably wipe your butt with floss.

Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"

How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sisters pussy taste funny

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*

Natives: Can y-

White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.

Daughter: So, I got my period.

Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!

Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?

Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.

Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)

Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead because of you.

Actually, not because of you... because of your face.

How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

Pick it up and suck its dick.

What has a bottom at the top?

Your legs.

If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.

Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.

If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣

Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

Wanna hear a joooooooke?

Your life.

So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"

He says, "What's it to ya?"

So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"

Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.

If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.