You're jokes

Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.

Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.

I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...

Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.

Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.

Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.

"Stupid faker, if you're trying to get me to leave the site, it won't work!"

If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?" Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."

You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.

The Golden State? More like your mum's state...

How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

Pick it up and suck its dick.

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

A man gets an email from his doctor.

"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."

The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"

What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?

Your dick shots longer.

If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?

European.

What are you on your way to the bathroom?

Russian.

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.

Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.

Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.

I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.