You're jokes
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
My grandpa and your hairline go way back.
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
when your grampa hears your music
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
I saw a little boy begging for money.
I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents!"
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.