You're jokes
Your mama so fat she sunk the HMS ship!
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
I'll give you an A because you're awesome.
B because you're beautiful.
A C because you're caring.
And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mother!
Mother who?
It's your mother.
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?