You're jokes
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.
Bitch, I can make orange rhyme with banana. BORNANA.
Eating pork rinds, sword fightin' in pajamas at the crib playin' Fortnite with your grandma.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Abortion is not murder, it's just canceling your preorder.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!
Your hairline is so bad that you have a humongous forehead.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What is your favorite name?
Amy has.