You're jokes
One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents!
me when i realized that buildings don't make earth any heavier cuz all the materials were already used on it.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
Pickup line for gay people:
Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
Who needs April Fool's when your life is a joke?
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!
(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!
(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.
Your mama is so ugly, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
My girlfriend accused me of cheating, and I said to her, "You're starting to sound like my wife."
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”