You're jokes

Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!

What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"

If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.

Bully: You're gonna die.

Me: Hurry up then.

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...

"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."

Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)

You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!

A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”

The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."

Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who's there?

Not your parents!

Papyrus: Well come to the underground.

Sans: How was your falls?

Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.

Sans: Give me your balls!

Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

Who needs April Fool's when your life is a joke?

God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.

Orphan: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.

(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!

(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!

(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.