You're jokes

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!

Your mommy.

So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.

Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?

Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"

BAJAHAHAHHAA

What's an orphan's favorite game?

"Who's your daddy?"

(Go look up the game)

Your hairline is back, people say. "Look at this dude."

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.

Your mama is so stupid.

Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.

If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?

In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣

Why did the chicken not cross the road?

Because it saw your face!

So my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a ‘single’ joke. Then she said, "Go and f***ing die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF I will break his body for you. Happy now?"

She said, "Sniff, yes."

You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.

If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.

MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.

DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.

MOM: No, you're not.