You're jokes
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your eyebrows.
Even Captain Cook couldn't discover your forehead.
Your eyebrows turned into little butterflies and flew away!
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
Your hairline left you because you were too ugly for your push back hairline.
Your leg is straighter than James Charles.
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
Your hairline is so far, too far, even dark humored jokes are scared of it.
Your hairline goes further back, even further back than the Precambrian Time.
Your forehead and your hairline must be old friends, because they go way back.
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.