You're jokes
A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.
When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
What's that stupid girl in your class called?
Thot.
What's the definition of disappointment?
Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"
The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".