You're jokes
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
The teacher is asking you a question.
Teacher: "If your biggest dream came true, what would you be?"
Me: "Dead."
If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.
Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!
The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.
Hi, I did not get your text. I texted you when I texted you. You are not [responding].
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
Don't say your life is a joke because jokes have meaning.
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)