You're jokes
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
You're tiny!
What did the poop say to the toilet paper? “You’re on a roll!”
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
What is your car? What was your time today after I had dinner night and night sleep night? Is it a night for you and a dinner night? Night dinner night? Was the snow? I had dinner night night dinner.
If you're ever bored, hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
When you're from Arkansas, you know! Door!
Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).
You're gay.
If you read this.
One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."