You're jokes

There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.

For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Are you a blood bender? 'Cause you're making my blood go south🖤.

I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.

Jokes about Marie Antoinette aren't funny, but that's no reason to lose your head.

When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.

"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."

"That's your lookout."

You're really special.

But the R in special is silent.

I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!

Incest.

When your genealogy chart is a straight line.

I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.

"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."

"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."

Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

Your teeth are so out of line, even James Charles is straighter than them.

Like if you like porn.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!

Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!

I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.

Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"

Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.

And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"